Quotes & Jokes by Eddie Murphy / page 4
I keep telling people I’ll make movies until I’m fifty and then I’ll go and do something else. I’m going to be a professional gentleman of leisure.
I’ve made 30 movies and for the most part my movies work. In a business where success is an exception and not the rule, I’ve mostly been successful.
Oh, get the fuck outta here! Just 'cause I'm a convict, every thin' that comes outta my mouth is a god damn lie?
I ain't never been in no cell that had a phone in it. Can I stay for a while? I ordered some pizza.
The economy in Ireland has been rampaging ahead for the last 15 years. Barring an international, political or natural catastrophe, things can only get better for the Irish.
Listen, I know what I like, and I know you know what I like, because you were trained to know what I like, but I would like to know, what do you like?
How can you do the moonwalk and ask a woman to dance? "Hey baby lets dance... cya later!"
Apparently every man was told to bring three women with them. Sounds like a ho-down.
Oh, shit... somebody fucked you up real bad. I'll tell you what... I'm gonna go now, cuz I think you want to sit there, by yourself, and think about who you pissed off. Excuse me.
I wish people would stop making fun of fat people... they have enough shit on their plates.
I’m sadistic. I go to the supermarket to watch mothers lose it and beat the shit out of their kids.
Any boob can run a day-care centre but it takes a family to raise some kids and that's what we're going to be from now on, a family.
We need to be prepared to help with their rent and utilities for six months to a year. We don't want them working right now.