Quotes & Jokes by Eddie Murphy / page 4
Oh, get the fuck outta here! Just 'cause I'm a convict, every thin' that comes outta my mouth is a god damn lie?
I ain't never been in no cell that had a phone in it. Can I stay for a while? I ordered some pizza.
I keep telling people I’ll make movies until I’m fifty and then I’ll go and do something else. I’m going to be a professional gentleman of leisure.
I’ve made 30 movies and for the most part my movies work. In a business where success is an exception and not the rule, I’ve mostly been successful.
How can you do the moonwalk and ask a woman to dance? "Hey baby lets dance... cya later!"
The economy in Ireland has been rampaging ahead for the last 15 years. Barring an international, political or natural catastrophe, things can only get better for the Irish.
Listen, I know what I like, and I know you know what I like, because you were trained to know what I like, but I would like to know, what do you like?
Apparently every man was told to bring three women with them. Sounds like a ho-down.
I wish people would stop making fun of fat people... they have enough shit on their plates.
My life is nothing like the Daddy Day Care life. Me around the house is nothing like the Daddy Day Care dad.
Oh, shit... somebody fucked you up real bad. I'll tell you what... I'm gonna go now, cuz I think you want to sit there, by yourself, and think about who you pissed off. Excuse me.
I’m sadistic. I go to the supermarket to watch mothers lose it and beat the shit out of their kids.
I’m in a whole different part of show business. I’m not even part of Shakespeare in Love.