Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 10
You might be a redneck if you’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.
You might be a redneck if you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner.
You might be a redneck if you've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.
You might be a redneck if your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's "babydoll".
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
You might be a redneck if you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
You may be a redneck if... you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.