Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 9
I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
You might be a redneck if you've ever taken an RV to a drive-in movie.
You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
You might be a redneck if you go to the family reunion to meet women.
The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.
You might be a redneck if you have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.
You might be a redneck if your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
You might be a redneck if the flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.
If your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.