Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 12

You might be a redneck if you wear someone else's work shirt.

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that.

You might be a redneck if the taillight covers of your car are made of tape.

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You might be a redneck if you prefer car keys to Q-tips.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.

You might be a redneck if you fish in your above-ground pool... and catch something.

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

You might be a redneck if your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

You might be a redneck if you have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.

You may be a redneck if... you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?

You might be a redneck if you've sat on the toilet until your legs fell asleep.