Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 13
You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "Hey!" or "How Y'all Doin'?"
You might be a redneck if your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.
You might be a redneck if... you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.
You might be a redneck if you've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
You might be a redneck if you have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
You might be a redneck if you empty the bed of your pickup truck by driving backwards really fast and then slamming on the brakes.
You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
If you’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog, you might be a redneck.
My mom thinks my new daughter is exceptionally bright, because now she will lie on the floor and talk to the ceiling fan. I said, "Mom, Uncle Harold does that and y'all call him an alcoholic."