Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 31

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

You might be a redneck if your secret family recipe is illegal.

If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if... your home has more miles on it than your car.

You might be a redneck if your dad is also your favorite uncle.

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.

[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they'll spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.