Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 30

My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.

I wasn't paying attention, what was wrong with me?

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

You might be a redneck if your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.

I know God is real.

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

You might be a redneck if your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

You might be a redneck if you have an Elvis Jell-o mold.

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.