Quotes & Jokes by Jon Stewart / page 12
You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is perfect.
Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's cool, because it's not. You know what is cool? Smoking. Smoke while you vote.
The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.
He's not stupid ... he's not a retarded man ... he just doesn't give a shit about you, or anything.
The currency of this show is your own head. They've established a certain structure here, but it's still in evolution.
The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.
They said I wasn't being funny. And I said to them, 'I know that, but tomorrow I will go back to being funny, and your show will still blow.'
I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm.
Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things.
At first the difference will be in whatever atmosphere I bring into it. It's not going to be like, 'I really want to do The Daily Show and I'd love to turn it into an abstract musical.' I like the format and the chance to satirize the news.
More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had.
We could overcome the baser aspects of our nature... and give this planet the kind of caretakers it deserves.