Quotes & Jokes by Paul Reiser / page 2
Peanut butter and lamb chops were not foods that had ever been a significant part of our life before pregnancy. In fact, my wife almost never ate either.So where did these craving come from? I concluded it's the baby, ordering in.
Upstate New York in the middle of October. You can't get more beautiful than that.
My parenting style could be described as not "good cop" or "bad cop" so much as "nervous cop." I'm always yelling for somebody to stop because they're about to get hurt. I'm the "take a jacket," "slow down" guy.
But I really felt that, something about the lights going down, and the sense of community. I saw this movie at one festival, and there were 1700 people.
Any issues my parents went through are very prominent in the movie, even though they enjoyed a happy relationship. The story actually started for me when my mom told me a few years ago that because she got a job, she never made it to the World's Fair in New York, and that's a missed opportunity that always stayed with her.
The way I figure, there are two types of people: those who get it and those who don't. If they get it, there's nothing to explain, and if they don't, there's no point in trying to explain. They don't get it. Move on.
Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.
If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still hurts.
Three has always been tougher than Two. Think of any of your famous threesomes. The Three Stooges? Look at the anger there. My bet is that before Curly was born, Moe and Larry could play together for hours without even a single poke in the eye. Huey, Dewey, and Louie? Donald Duck never had a moment's peace. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly? I rest my case.
Our date-nightrule is no talking about the kids. That lasts about to the end of the driveway.
The most used appliance in our house is my 10-year-old son Leon's Xbox.
I'm feeling very vindicated that, when I see the audiences laughing and being moved, we were right.
And in that time, I lost my dad and had kids of my own. It was like, OK, I get it now. I know what fatherhood is all about. And you look at your parents differently.
By shrewdly linking procreation to an act likely to make you stupid with excitement, God has seen to it that Life does indeed go on. It's possible, by the way, that this is why God's name comes up so often in the middle of the act; it's a salute to the author: "Hey, whoever made this up - thanks."