Quotes & Jokes by Red Buttons / page 7
Nostradamus, who predicted that Billy Bailey would not come home. Never got a dinner!
Captain Hook's mother, who said to Little Hook, "For God sakes, don't scratch it!" Never got a dinner!
The doctor who delivered Mr. T, who said, "He slapped me!" Never got a dinner!
Jack the Ripper’s mother, who said to Jack, "How come I never see you with the same girl twice? " Never got a dinner!
Steven Spielberg’s mother, who said to E.T., "I don't care where you're from, you're here and you're gonna get bar mitzvahed!" Never got a dinner!
The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, who said to his tailor Irving, "Forget the slacks - please work on the blazer!" Never got a dinner!
King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, "For better service, take a number." Never got a dinner!
The Invisible Man, who said to his wife, "I don't care if it looks silly, don't stop!" Never got a dinner!
Gandhi, who went to Wendy’s and asked, "Where’s the belief?" Never got a dinner!
An Orthodox Jewish vampire, who was so Kosher that he wouldn't suck a neck unless it was salted first. Never got a dinner!
Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, "It’s only a nickname." Never got a dinner!
Flash Gordon, who said, "No, that’s not how I got my name." Never got a dinner!