Redd Foxx Quotes and Jokes

51 quotes

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.

The definition of indecent – when it’s in long, and it’s in hard, and it’s in deep – it’s in decent.

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.

You see, I can’t, on account of my Arthritis.

My first wife, I'll never forget her - and I've tried.

I feel right at home on this roast with you guys. It's like being in the ghetto... because in the ghetto you get stabbed in the back by total strangers too!

I'm callin' you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.

My Elizabeth was as pure as the driven snow; and I am the only driver she ever had!

Do you realize that if the pilgrims have been chasing bobcats instead of turkeys... we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving?!

I'm gonna put five of these where you sneeze.

Sanford and Son is more than just a name. It's a condition, a dynasty, an empire. This here is the finest pile of junk of the world.

I ain’t from Africa. I’m from St. Louis.

You’re going into business with that Puerto Rican? You ought to call yourselves “Julio and Big Foolio.”

You just dumb, son. You just dumb.

When you see the handwriting on the wall, your in the toilet.