Redd Foxx Quotes and Jokes


What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.

The definition of indecent – when it’s in long, and it’s in hard, and it’s in deep – it’s in decent.

You see, I can’t, on account of my Arthritis.

I'm callin' you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.

I ain’t from Africa. I’m from St. Louis.

I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. So I rushed out and bought me one.

My first wife, I'll never forget her - and I've tried.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

I'm going to get my bud-nipper and start nipping some bud!

Do you realize that if the pilgrims have been chasing bobcats instead of turkeys... we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving?!

I'm gonna put five of these where you sneeze.

My Elizabeth was as pure as the driven snow; and I am the only driver she ever had!

You just dumb, son. You just dumb.

Hazel, if I hit you in the mouth, I bet your lips get to the hospital before the amulance.