Redd Foxx Quotes and Jokes

51 quotes

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.

The definition of indecent – when it’s in long, and it’s in hard, and it’s in deep – it’s in decent.

You see, I can’t, on account of my Arthritis.

I'm callin' you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.

I ain’t from Africa. I’m from St. Louis.

I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. So I rushed out and bought me one.

My first wife, I'll never forget her - and I've tried.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Do you realize that if the pilgrims have been chasing bobcats instead of turkeys... we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving?!

I'm going to get my bud-nipper and start nipping some bud!

I'm gonna put five of these where you sneeze.

My Elizabeth was as pure as the driven snow; and I am the only driver she ever had!

You’re going into business with that Puerto Rican? You ought to call yourselves “Julio and Big Foolio.”

You just dumb, son. You just dumb.