Redd Foxx Quotes and Jokes

51 quotes

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.

The definition of indecent – when it’s in long, and it’s in hard, and it’s in deep – it’s in decent.

You see, I can’t, on account of my Arthritis.

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.

My first wife, I'll never forget her - and I've tried.

I'm callin' you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.

I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. So I rushed out and bought me one.

Do you realize that if the pilgrims have been chasing bobcats instead of turkeys... we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving?!

I'm gonna put five of these where you sneeze.

My Elizabeth was as pure as the driven snow; and I am the only driver she ever had!

You just dumb, son. You just dumb.

Sanford and Son is more than just a name. It's a condition, a dynasty, an empire. This here is the finest pile of junk of the world.

I ain’t from Africa. I’m from St. Louis.

I feel right at home on this roast with you guys. It's like being in the ghetto... because in the ghetto you get stabbed in the back by total strangers too!

This is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey!