Sandra Bernhard Quotes and Jokes


Ellen's very mad at me. She's says if I want to start a war in the press, she's not the person to start with.

There will come a day when Anne Heche will be straight again.

The fumes are killing us, and we wonder why things are going haywire.

You reach a certain point in your 30s when you say things in a much safer way.

Onstage, I'm still wearing my fabulous, sheer dresses because I'm not that big.

Gay pride's beautiful. If somebody needs to be expressing that, then it's a positive thing.

Gay men, if they've been straight and turn gay, they're gay, honey.

I'm trying to appeal to the disenfranchised everybody, not just specifically gay.

I'm studying Kabbalah, which is really the essence of Jewish spirituality.

Purim, one of my favorite holidays. It's like the original drag queen's holiday. It's when all the Jewish men go for it and feel no guilt for a change.

They want families to come to New York and go to the theater, so the theater is all geared toward family entertainment. It's money, you know.

It's usually a spiritual thing that's preventing somebody from having happiness.

It's up to couples, to individuals, to have a trust between each other.

If you come home to a household of chaos and anger and fear, you're not going to feel protected from the world.

I'm not saying I'm some high priestess. I do things, I'm sure, that are damaging, but it's certainly not on purpose.