Quotes & Jokes by Adam Carolla / page 4

My penis is like a burn victim after I orgasm. Don't get near it. It hurts. Leave it be.

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

I would like one day to not only pop a hymen but actually pull the plastic off the vagina, unwrap the vagina.

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.