Quotes & Jokes by Adam Sandler / page 2
I bought my parents some stuff. That feels kind of good to be able to do that. I got them a place in Florida. I think I'm allowed to say that - I hope my dad doesn't get mad at me. But I don't spend money on myself. I don't like myself enough yet. But the people I love, I like spending the cash on them.
I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff.
I still like doing stand-up now, but it's not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five other comedians. Now I usually just do it alone.
Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!
When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I'd get so panicked that I would stutter.
My buddies, we've always just tried to make each other laugh. I mean, just like all friends hanging out - that's the goal.
Well I have a microphone and you don't so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!
I sang a song at my sister's wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right.
They should name a gender after you. Looking at you doesn't do it, staring is the only way that makes sense. And trying not to blink so you don't miss anything. And all of that and you're you.
Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl... or boy.
Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.