Quotes & Jokes by Albert Brooks / page 3

Excited about Black Friday. Also excited about Jew Tuesday.

I've never been disappointed, because I've never given somebody I liked that much power.

The whole world is tense. Everybody gets the international news. There's been no American comedy at all that even remotely addresses the subject in any way. My goal isn't to solve the world's problems. My character wasn't even able to do his assignment. But the premise of wanting to find out about somebody - other than the stuff that the CIA will tell you - there's no hope unless we do that.

The world really changed after 9/11, not just in the tragic way, but in every way. So it took me a couple of years to even understand how my art form I could process any of this. When the world changed, eliciting laughter with subjects that were funny to me before 9/11 just didn't seem good enough.

I feel so badly about what they do to turkeys. That's why this year my family and I are eating a live bird.

This was enormously challenging, because it involved filling 120 blank pages with an actual story and words people say.

I come from the place where I am thinking "I have put my blood on the pages."

I don't want to get close to people who have secrets that I don't know about.

We export films that are full of sleazy jokes and toilet humor - that`s why we've earned the affectionate nickname of the Great Satan. What's seemingly benign, by our standards, is doing more damage to us around the world than anything I could ever do.

In the beginning of any career, in every job, people are always forcing you to the middle.

Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It won't be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it.