Quotes & Jokes by Billy Crystal / page 3

At night, I'll notice a thigh will just start aching. And this arm, and this...

Nothing can take the sting off the world's economic problems like watching millionaires present each other golden statues.

At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn't have something to say on a nightly basis.

Gentlemen, start your egos.

Don't give up your power.

Was at Royal Wedding but didn't go inside. Had same hat as Fergie's daughter.

Bambi, to a kid, was scary.

Oh, I can't do it right now; I'm busy, I'm busy, too.

Nobody is more truthful when he's acting than De Niro.

Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising.

I would even walk so it wouldn't look like we're together. Here I can hold his hand.

I fell in love with the right person, a person I know and who knows me.

I think I've far exceeded what I ever thought I could possibly do. I'm almost shocked that I'm still around after all of these years... and always grateful that I get another turn to do something.