Chris Tucker Quotes and Jokes


Guns don’t kill people. Stupid motherfuckers with guns kill people.

You know, we're missing so much as African-Americans and we should be concerned about what's going on in Africa.

They call you 'Pops',you work in the library and your best friend's a mouse.

A nigga so broke these days somebody rob me they just be practicing.

I'ma whip your ass! You, me, him! Everybody's ass around here!

Weed is from tha earth. God put this here for me and you. Take advantage man, take advantage!

Puff puff, give. Puff puff, give. You're fuckin' up tha rotation.

I wanted to cut down on the profanity, because I think I'm funnier without sayin' a lot of cuss words.

A black President? Now come on y'all, we got Clinton, that's close. He got negro tendencies.

You loan your friend money. You see them again, they don't say nothin' 'bout the money. 'Hi, how ya doin'? How's ya mama doing?' Man, how's my money doin'?

I'ma beat the puberty outta ya! You ain't gonna see it coming.

You don't know who you messing with man, I slap people for fun. That's what I do man! You wanna play rough, huh, I kill for fun!

You aint 180lbs. You weight more than a damn car girl.

It takes intelligence to make real comedy, and it takes a reality base to create all that little stuff I like to do that makes you giggle inside.

I am now half Asian. I have learned all the ancient teachings of Buddi.