Chris Tucker Quotes and Jokes


A nigga so broke these days somebody rob me they just be practicing.

Guns don’t kill people. Stupid motherfuckers with guns kill people.

You know, we're missing so much as African-Americans and we should be concerned about what's going on in Africa.

They call you 'Pops',you work in the library and your best friend's a mouse.

Weed is from tha earth. God put this here for me and you. Take advantage man, take advantage!

I'ma whip your ass! You, me, him! Everybody's ass around here!

You don't know who you messing with man, I slap people for fun. That's what I do man! You wanna play rough, huh, I kill for fun!

Puff puff, give. Puff puff, give. You're fuckin' up tha rotation.

You loan your friend money. You see them again, they don't say nothin' 'bout the money. 'Hi, how ya doin'? How's ya mama doing?' Man, how's my money doin'?

I wanted to cut down on the profanity, because I think I'm funnier without sayin' a lot of cuss words.

A black President? Now come on y'all, we got Clinton, that's close. He got negro tendencies.

I'ma beat the puberty outta ya! You ain't gonna see it coming.

You aint 180lbs. You weight more than a damn car girl.

Georgia was a great place to live, but I wanted to get out because I knew the opportunities for what I was doing - stand-up comedy and eventually acting - were in Los Angeles.

Wow! Lee, we got a big ass problem.