Quotes & Jokes by Colin Quinn / page 3

I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of humor.

I was a class clown.

If it had just been some femme fatale, I think this whole thing could have been settled. You know, if it had just been like a beautiful woman.

You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.

I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

With comedians, you have that understanding that we're trying to get laughs.

We battled well and it was an excellent win.

You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles.

It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything.

I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write.

I always wanted to write as much as perform.

That's the beauty of being a comedian - it's the one job you're allowed to do that. We're lucky. We're really lucky.