Quotes & Jokes by Colin Quinn / page 4

I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any.

That's the beauty of being a comedian - it's the one job you're allowed to do that. We're lucky. We're really lucky.

I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ.

Everybody says before reviews come out, 'Oh, reviews don't matter,' just in case they're bad; everyone want to brace themselves.

I'm not a big method actor. I'm much more superficial.

I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.

I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows.

I’m sick and tired of people bashing this great land of ours. People call us lazy. We’re not lazy folks. We’ve only been in this country for 300 years. We’ve built nuclear weapons plants, malls, factories. We’re not lazy, we’re done.