Quotes & Jokes by Dana Gould / page 20
There's something vaguely erotic about watching a woman eat a banana while cupping two plums.
"Scatterbrain" is one of those harmless little words you use a million times... Then it turns up in a crime scene description.
I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
One of the coolest things about the word "boobs" is, when you look at it, it has boobs.
Earthquakes would be great if they could hit specific areas, like the parent lounge at a children's beauty pageant.
One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
Alien abductions. I don't believe in them because it's always the same circumstances, the same type of people, the same situations. It's never a black guy; it's never a Hispanic guy; it's never a physicist from the Netherlands - it's always some dumb white fuck in the middle of nowhere.