Quotes & Jokes by Dana Gould / page 19
Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
If you've never had a colonic, imagine getting butt raped by a melting snowman. If you have had a colonic, are you sure it was a colonic?
Because of Bluetooth headsets, it's getting more and more difficult to tell who's schizophrenic and who's on a conference call.
The average man thinks about sex every... What were we talking about?
If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
Where is the good will in the thought, "I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?"
Like many indelible family memories, carving a pumpkin begins with someone grabbing a really sharp knife.
I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
A big blizzard proves there's no global warming in the same way being out of milk proves there's no such thing as cows.
Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
One of the coolest things about the word "boobs" is, when you look at it, it has boobs.