Quotes & Jokes by Dane Cook / page 19
I’m more of a glass empty kinda guy. I look at it as having more room for ice.
I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh.
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.
I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
You are the director of your own life story. Don’t cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
I don't care if you laughed at that or not, the next time you hear that shit, you're gonna be like, "Haha. That Dane Cook is a silly bitch!"
You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
Saw a lost dog sign with a pic of the dog and a little boy hugging it. I'm assuming the kids safe and we're just focusing on the pooch.
I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
I did stand-up comedy for seventeen years. I need to explore other things.
If you're 1 of the 3 girls in pics with a greaseball whose arms are around you at a club you lose at life. If you're the greaseball you win.