Quotes & Jokes by David Cross / page 2
They think globally but act locally, which is part of my t-shirt philosophy course that I teach in Brooklyn.
So at the CES, there was a guy selling off this porno called Fuck My Dirty Shithole: The Movie. I bet you're thinking exactly what I was thinking … how did they make that book into a movie?
[On marketing and commercials] HENDERSON VALLEY EGGS! You're gonna love our eggs!!!... [cut to small granny in rockin chair] I like eggs the old fashioned way. [return to youth] "Fuck you granny!" [punch mimic]
If someone gives you a kazoo and toots around the house to MTV, they're not gonna fuck you.
High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know...
As for Tenacious D, of course it could work as a full length movie; all it requires is a great writer and great director with an ability to think outside of conventional film comedy.
If you want to reinstate the 14.4 billion dollars that Bush cut out of the veterans program then vote democrat.
People are condescending, they don't listen, and it's contributed to a really unfortunate anti-intellectualism in this country.
It's just an easy catchall to describe a style because there are a lot of alternative comics who are completely different from each other.
I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.
Besides if people really want to support the troops they would vote democrat.
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.