Quotes & Jokes by Dennis Miller / page 8
And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.
A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.
We have now given one of the only 50 states we have to a herd of Simu-Bullwinkles!
If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!
There should be some kind of dedication of a portion of the funds to Town Center.
It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.
Trends don't mean anything to me. If I like something, I'll do it. If I don't, I won't do it, and I wouldn't care if everybody in the country mocked me.
We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being.
If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.
The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is simply not substantiated. And moreover, it's not biologically plausible.
Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
Economists predict that this year's federal surplus will be $120 billion less than predicted in January. The missing $120 billion was reportedly last seen on a date with Congressman Gary Condit.