Quotes & Jokes by Donald Glover / page 4
You should be like Calvin. His best friend was a tiger, and he went on dope adventures, and if anything got in his way, he’d just pee on it.
They say my public persona don’t have enough appeal, I take a lesson from Kanye and give 'em something real.
I felt like high school for me was like a big whirlpool of me trying to figure out what was OK for me to do.
What I wanna know is why I never fit in right like a fat dude getting on a packed flight.
NYU's like a Jurassic 5 concert: it's like there's supposed to be black people there, but they're not.
Sometimes when jokes fall flat, you feel so alone. You’re like, “Well, I thought this was funny.” Sometimes you can feel really lonely.
Why does every girl in the world wanna date me? Especially right now man, especially when I'm busy!
My friends come and ask me "Is it worth it?" I say well shit it better be, I did this shit on purpose!
Girls are supposed to dance. That's why God gave them parts that jiggle.
I'm probably going to get in trouble for this but 'American Dad' is one of my favourite shows. It gets very dark in places but the jokes are there.