Quotes & Jokes by Donald Glover / page 6

I hate it when you really think you're getting something good... and you don't listen to your dudes when you really should.

Me and Abed have an agreement. If one of us dies, we stage it to look like a suicide due to the unjust cancellation of Firefly.

Usually, if I think something is really funny, I'm not gonna test it. I'll just test it when I'm onstage.

Kept looking for something to be in with. Follow someone’s blueprint. But you have to be on your own.

I personally don't believe people really grow. They just learn stuff when they were a kid, and hold on to it, and that affects every relationship they have.

I wish I was a book. She could pick me up, flip through my pages. Make sure nobody drew wieners in me.

I started doing '30 Rock' and started writing 'Mystery Team' at the beginning of that. While I was doing 'Mystery Team,' I started practicing stand-up. While I was doing stand up, I got 'Community.' It's like I planted trees six years ago, and now they have fruit.

I come around when you least expect me! I'm sitting at the bar when your glass is empty!

I'm always fucking childish, you knew that when you met me!

The only reason I'm able to do music is because I'm making money on 'Community.' If I wasn't, I couldn't pay for things.

Black men struggle with masculinity so much. The idea that we must always be strong really presses us all down - it keeps us from growing.

You’re always allowed to be better.

This one kid said something that was really bad. He said I wasn't really black cause I had a dad.

I don't talk soft, that's that other dude.

You are human tennis elbow. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world's mouth. You are the opposite of Batman.