Quotes & Jokes by Earthquake / page 2

You don't want to go down to Alabama. It's primitive. Don't take your phone down there - ain't no AT&T, ain't no Sprint. They call each other the old fashioned way: they use pigeons.

At least drug dealers have some integrity. There is no integrity when it comes to entertainment.

I got kids - got three kids: two of them mine, one of them don't look like me. I was gonna get a blood test, but that costs $2500. I said I'll wait 'til he falls down and cuts himself.

Ain't no black people don't fuck with no bombs. We don't fit that profile. 'Cause you've got to be on time with a bomb.

I know who wasn't black - I don't care what nobody say - Noah was not black. Noah and his family couldn't have been black 'cause there's no way no black family was on no boat for 40 days and 40 nights and didn't eat them two chickens.

Some people say that Jesus was black. I don't know if that's true or not, but that would explain why it's taking him so long to come back.

Some of you are just lying! There's no way you would let your woman freely see your phone.

Best job I ever had was working in the cleaners. That was a good job. I cried like a bitch when they fired me. They fired me for wearing other people's clothes.

I was going to get me a white woman, but O.J. messed it up for everybody. He set interracial dating back a thousand years.

Black people late by nature. There's some slaves still on their way over here.

I got a boy that was married, been married for six years - videotaped his wedding day, never watched it. Six years later, now he watches it every day, but he watches it in reverse. I asked him. He said, 'I love seeing myself take that ring back off her fuckin' finger.'