Earthquake Quotes and Jokes

26 quotes

I don't know who you niggas are talking about "let's go back to Africa." But after seeing Hotel Rwanda and Blood Diamond, you can sell my ticket! I'm staying right here. I'll take my chances with the Klan. I can outrun a fat redneck, but I can't outrun no Tutu.

You don't want to go down to Alabama. It's primitive. Don't take your phone down there - ain't no AT&T, ain't no Sprint. They call each other the old fashioned way: they use pigeons.

I love black women: burnt black, slave black. I love my woman so black, I just like her to lay in the bed, look like a hole in the sheets.

Don't want to go down to Alabama. It's hot down there - slave heat. It was like 98 degrees at three in the morning. I was like, Alabama must got their own sun. I was hiding from the sun like it was the police.

My brother got fired for coming late at a night job. How you oversleep 8:30?

White people talking about how Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves. No he didn't; polyester did. They stopped wearing cotton; they had to let us go.

You give a white kid some napkins and duck sauce, they'll make a bomb.

Used to go to church, but church is getting too expensive. Cover charge is a bitch. I went one Sunday; they was passing around eight, nine plates. I just pulled my own plate, started passing that around.

Some people say that Jesus was black. I don't know if that's true or not, but that would explain why it's taking him so long to come back.

Ain't no black people don't fuck with no bombs. We don't fit that profile. 'Cause you've got to be on time with a bomb.

Marriage is like having cable with just one channel: same thing come on everyday. You see other things come on, but you can't watch it.

At least drug dealers have some integrity. There is no integrity when it comes to entertainment.

I have to be legitimate in my lyrics to be genuine. If I constantly made up stuff, soon enough I would run out a fuel because there is but so much jokes you can come up with. You have to use real experiences so people can relate.

I was going to get me a white woman, but O.J. messed it up for everybody. He set interracial dating back a thousand years.

Black people late by nature. There's some slaves still on their way over here.