Earthquake Quotes and Jokes


I don't know who you niggas are talking about "let's go back to Africa." But after seeing Hotel Rwanda and Blood Diamond, you can sell my ticket! I'm staying right here. I'll take my chances with the Klan. I can outrun a fat redneck, but I can't outrun no Tutu.

You don't want to go down to Alabama. It's primitive. Don't take your phone down there - ain't no AT&T, ain't no Sprint. They call each other the old fashioned way: they use pigeons.

Don't want to go down to Alabama. It's hot down there - slave heat. It was like 98 degrees at three in the morning. I was like, Alabama must got their own sun. I was hiding from the sun like it was the police.

White people talking about how Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves. No he didn't; polyester did. They stopped wearing cotton; they had to let us go.

I love black women: burnt black, slave black. I love my woman so black, I just like her to lay in the bed, look like a hole in the sheets.

Some people say that Jesus was black. I don't know if that's true or not, but that would explain why it's taking him so long to come back.

Ain't no black people don't fuck with no bombs. We don't fit that profile. 'Cause you've got to be on time with a bomb.

You give a white kid some napkins and duck sauce, they'll make a bomb.

Marriage is like having cable with just one channel: same thing come on everyday. You see other things come on, but you can't watch it.

My brother got fired for coming late at a night job. How you oversleep 8:30?

I have to be legitimate in my lyrics to be genuine. If I constantly made up stuff, soon enough I would run out a fuel because there is but so much jokes you can come up with. You have to use real experiences so people can relate.

I was going to get me a white woman, but O.J. messed it up for everybody. He set interracial dating back a thousand years.

Black people late by nature. There's some slaves still on their way over here.

Best job I ever had was working in the cleaners. That was a good job. I cried like a bitch when they fired me. They fired me for wearing other people's clothes.

Used to go to church, but church is getting too expensive. Cover charge is a bitch. I went one Sunday; they was passing around eight, nine plates. I just pulled my own plate, started passing that around.