Quotes & Jokes by Fred Allen / page 2

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.