Quotes & Jokes by Fred Allen / page 2

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.