Quotes & Jokes by Gabriel Iglesias / page 4
Every night, it’s a bakery on the bus. It’s a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I’m diabetic, so I’m like, are you kidding me?!
I don't get controversial, I don't get political and I don't tell you what to do with your life. I just go out there and tell some stories, and people can relate.
I'm a big guy, but I'm really simple with the food. I'll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets.
I see a Latino comic as someone who can only perform for Latino audiences. I cross the board.
My nosey neighbor called the cops on me for making too much noise during football. Is fluffy gonna have to open up a can whop ass?
For this being the holiday season everyone at the mall is pissed. Time to shop online.
When I was a kid I did impressions and funny voices a lot. When I was telling a story I would use the voices to make it more entertaining.
You know what I learned about Hawaiians? They're just blown up Mexicans!
When I first got to St. Louis, I saw the arch and I said, ‘I want to go to that McDonalds.'
In the beginning, when I was doing my shows, I was incorporating a lot of Spanish, just trying to be a Latino comic instead of just a comic. Now I try to make the show as broad as possible... I don't want to alienate people. I want to make it so everybody can follow along and everybody can relate.
I almost bought a DeLorean the other day just because. If I see something that I think is cool and I like it, I'll go for it.
For the level of entertainment you get for the ticket, it's a solid show.