Quotes & Jokes by Gabriel Iglesias / page 4

I'm a big guy, but I'm really simple with the food. I'll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets.

I'm a comedian who happens to be Latino. What's the difference? The difference is, my special will air on Comedy Central, not Telemundo.

I don't get controversial, I don't get political and I don't tell you what to do with your life. I just go out there and tell some stories, and people can relate.

I see a Latino comic as someone who can only perform for Latino audiences. I cross the board.

I’m not fat. I’m fluffy!

For this being the holiday season everyone at the mall is pissed. Time to shop online.

My nosey neighbor called the cops on me for making too much noise during football. Is fluffy gonna have to open up a can whop ass?

You know what I learned about Hawaiians? They're just blown up Mexicans!

In the beginning, when I was doing my shows, I was incorporating a lot of Spanish, just trying to be a Latino comic instead of just a comic. Now I try to make the show as broad as possible... I don't want to alienate people. I want to make it so everybody can follow along and everybody can relate.

I almost bought a DeLorean the other day just because. If I see something that I think is cool and I like it, I'll go for it.

When I was a kid I did impressions and funny voices a lot. When I was telling a story I would use the voices to make it more entertaining.

When I first got to St. Louis, I saw the arch and I said, ‘I want to go to that McDonalds.'

Put your life out there and make it entertaining.

I got off the plane - I was walking and cooking at the same time.

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years.