Quotes & Jokes by Gabriel Iglesias / page 5

Comedy is my passion. I'm going to do this until I drop.

I just know you can not be on top forever. There's always going to be the next guy, and if I'm going to go down, I'd like to know I helped the next guy take my spot. You can't prevent the inevitable, but you can join the ship.

That's one thing about my shows. I tell people, I'm not a comedian, I'm just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don't snap and so I don't go off the handle when I get home.

I'm always very happy to talk to people. I relate to people, and the guy on stage is very much the guy that's off stage. People know when it's fake.

For the level of entertainment you get for the ticket, it's a solid show.

I don't even have a clue as to where to find a pregnancy test. I'm looking at all the aisles... they don't have one that says 'oops.'

Some comics don't like it when people talk during the set, and it does get a little bit annoying after awhile, but I basically let people dictate what jokes I'm going to do.

Believe it or not, I've got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I'm done. I'm not a guy that puts away 10 burgers.

I want to get so famous that I don't have to wake up in the morning. It'll probably never happen.

I have always been told that I was a funny, entertaining person and have always been told to give comedy a try.

When you leave, you basically want to go eat, because I talk a lot about food in my act. So when you leave, you leave hungry.

Honestly, you got to take care of the people that take care of you. I know that sounds like cliche, or borderline phony, but that's the case. The reason I've had the fans that I have is because I've been consistent over the years and kept coming back and doing the same runs. I'm never going to stop doing the cities I've gone through. I'm only going to add.

The only way I will do a sitcom is if it’s hurled at me, and I don’t have to work for it.

I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I'm doing. If I can keep this going, I'm happy.

I’m always ready for TV. I don’t have to edit my jokes - when you work clean, you can work anywhere.