Quotes & Jokes by Gallagher / page 5

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you're not supposed to drink and drive?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Well, let me welcome myself to Texas. Where a man comes home and hangs his hat on his lap.

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes... why can't they make the whole plane out of the same material?

Wouldn't it be great if people were the same in bed as they are in every day life? When Mark Spitz gets done, does he do a flip off the headboard and come back for another lap? 'Gee, Nadia, that was perfect! That full twisting dismount wasn't bad either, babe!'

Before the invention of the telephone, you had to lie to people to their face!