Living in California is like living in a bowl of granola; what ain't fruits or nuts, is flakes.
Gallagher Quotes and Jokes
'I before E except after C?' Americans don't want to learn that! They just sort of make an 'I' looking 'E' and an 'E' looking 'I' then put the dot, right there in the middle!
If you water it and it dies, it’s a plant. If you pull it out and it grows back, it’s a weed.
Our alphabet is based on some kind of a bookkeeper's code to keep the Jews' and the Egyptians' noses out of the Phoenician cattle business!
Why do they call them cowboys? Cows is girls; bulls is boys. They should call them 'cowgirls' and 'bullboys.'
People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up.
Well, see, babies are born with new eyes. They look at the world with new eyes and you begin to see things, too, through their eyes. I had a problem with her with toilet trainin' and I don't blame her a bit. Cause first I showed her you can't hit your cup on the coffee table. Then I showed her you can't eat on the couch. Then here was this chair you could shit in.