Quotes & Jokes by Garrison Keillor / page 2

23 quotes

That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Men peak at age nineteen and go downhill.

Life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.

Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know?

Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota.