When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg, so when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.
Garry Shandling Quotes and Jokes
Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.
I went to my doctor and told him, "My penis is burning." He said, "That means somebody is talking about it."
I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms.
I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large.
I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.
Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with.
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside.