Quotes & Jokes by J. B. Smoove / page 7
If your boss asks you why you're comin' in late, you say it's 'cause you stayed late.
I try to dress smooth, I try to keep my face shaved, I try to keep my head cut. I try to do all the things to keep it smooth going!
When I first started doing comedy years ago, I used to be the biggest Michael Richards fan. I used to love this dude. He was on a TV show called 'Fridays,' and man, he was tall and lanky - and I was tall and lanky. I love physical comedy, and he was a physical comedian, and I said, 'Man, I love this guy.'
Police blog or entertainment news, it's just good to see your name in print.
I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat.
'The ruckus' is different experiences you go through throughout your life which builds your ruckus points up - your tolerance. You've got to have a high tolerance for dealing with stuff all the time.
I wouldn't want to be someone's roommate, that's for sure. You can't do certain things: you can't leave the bathroom door open... you can't put your feet on the couch, you can't hide stuff in the couch.
When I started stand-up, the first thing I did was to take an improv class.
I loved Peter Sellers. I thought he was the perfect mix of physical comedy with out-of-the-box humor. I loved his tone; I loved his physicality; I loved everything about what he was doing as a comedic actor.
Just broke up with somebody. Well, it wasn't really a break up, it was a booty call I might have took too serious.
You got to start by doing little things if your quest is to take over the world.
You don't want to take the world over with a whole hamper full of dirty clothes. That's the main thing people overlook. And take a shower, take a bath every day.