Quotes & Jokes by Jake Johannsen

I’m single again now. But I’m still buying condoms. Because I don’t want the woman at the store to know I’ve stopped having sex. I don’t think that’s any of her business. But they are kind of piling up now. I’m going to have to have a lucky streak. Or think of a craft project.

You know how you look up at your dad when you’re a little kid like he’s got some special Dad knowledge. And then you find out all he really knows is how to have sex with your mom.

I don’t get back to Iowa very often. I mean, it took me a long time to realize that we were free to go.