Quotes & Jokes by Janeane Garofalo / page 8

But let me ask you this though, first and foremost: who's your favorite Spice Girl? Mine is Sporty Spice and I'll tell you why. You know what? She might not be as aesthetically pleasant as the rest but she'll do a backflip and steal your heart.

You young people with your twittering and your creating of content. Or what is it - queefing? I don't know what you young people are calling it.

You have to have a lot more dedication to what I'll call 'the machine,' ... I have 20 percent dedication. What's needed is 110 percent. You can't have it with the level of apathy I have.

I can't wait for the next fad though, and I predict it's going to be Pennsylvania dutch culture, very Amish. It's going to be bonnets and butter churns.

You know, I've had Botox. The woman who does it is very good, obviously. Very conservative.

The notebook. Yes, as you know Garofalo’s a little forgetful. Has to bring her notebook. Between the Nutrasweet and the Fen-phen, I don’t know whether to shit or wind my watch at this point.