Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 31
You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if... your home has more miles on it than your car.
You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.
[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they'll spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.