Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 30

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

You might be a redneck if your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

You don’t get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

You might be a redneck if your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.

I know God is real.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

I wasn't paying attention, what was wrong with me?

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.