Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 30
You might be a redneck if your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.
You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
You might be a redneck if there has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.
You don’t get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
You might be a redneck if... your home has more miles on it than your car.
You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.