Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 30
You don’t get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.