Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 30
My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
You might be a redneck if there has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
You don’t get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
You might be a redneck if... your home has more miles on it than your car.
You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.
You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.