Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 30
My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.
You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
You might be a redneck if your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.
You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
You don’t get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.