Quotes & Jokes by Milton Jones / page 2
I don’t know if you’ve ever fallen asleep whilst eating a plate of cauliflower, and then woken up, and thought you were in the clouds.
When my daughter was born she had jaundice, she was small, round and yellow. we called her Melony.
I got arrested for playing chess in the street. I said, it's because I'm black, isn't it.
If they make it illegal to wear the veil at work, bee keepers are going to be furious.
Easiest job in the world of course, Australian psychiatrist, “Gday Gday how you doing no worries next”.
Why did we get together? Because God wanted us to do it. We were just trying to do what God wants us to do. We didn't feel like we had much of a choice.
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number...She looked great going down the stairs.
We use similar products. Our focus industry is healthcare and hospitality. But we haven?t done anything interactive. The first day full of seminars (at the show) is full of things I thought would be useful: quick service restaurant and mobile phone applications. Businesses are providing more services and products by self-service means.
"A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!"
Sometimes I wonder what my grandfather would think of what I do, he spent his whole life in the kebab business, was buried with all his equipment, probably turning in his grave.
The pollen count, now that’s a difficult job. Especially if you’ve got hay fever.