Quotes & Jokes by Natasha Leggero / page 2

31 quotes

Male comics are always coming up to me, and they’re like, ‘Hey, Natasha, don’t you think you’re a little attractive to be a comedian?’ And I’m like, ‘Don’t you think you’re a little ugly to be talking to me?’

Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80’s

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are.

TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake.

How are you gonna make an ‘idol’ from the type of person you’re trying to avoid in real life?

The waiters in France could all be senators in the US.

Do they give Pulitzers for tweets yet?

I just broke up with a guy… it’s hard breaking up with them, ‘cause you have to be like, “Listen, you’ve run out of money.”

No one smart is having a toilet baby. It’s never like ‘Darling you’ll never guess what has come out of my vagina’

Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.

I wish his [Frank Ocean] music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks.

The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ’s playlist.