Quotes & Jokes by Natasha Leggero / page 2
Male comics are always coming up to me, and they’re like, ‘Hey, Natasha, don’t you think you’re a little attractive to be a comedian?’ And I’m like, ‘Don’t you think you’re a little ugly to be talking to me?’
College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.
Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.
I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are.
Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80’s
How are you gonna make an ‘idol’ from the type of person you’re trying to avoid in real life?
The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ’s playlist.
Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?
No one smart is having a toilet baby. It’s never like ‘Darling you’ll never guess what has come out of my vagina’
I just broke up with a guy… it’s hard breaking up with them, ‘cause you have to be like, “Listen, you’ve run out of money.”
I wish his [Frank Ocean] music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks.