Quotes & Jokes by Paul Reiser / page 5

The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering.

But at the same time that the experience is pulling you apart, it's also bonding you. You have this joint venture! You both made this baby. And that's the thing I still can't get over.

She kind of reminds one of Helen. There's something very similar about Elizabeth Perkins.

Younger kids, they understand that things aren't so perfect with their father or with their mother.

You don't have to have 14 committees and studios weighing in. Its really just you.

A new child in the house is a huge tourist attraction. It's like Disneyland, except there the lines are longer and no one brings casseroles.

But you get past that and realize you have to let go of what you think you want. There'll be plenty of time for that later. Right now, go and be with that baby. Just play with this beautiful little boy.

We have such a long, familiar history with Peter Falk. The minute his mug is on that screen people smile.

People come up to us and ask how we knew so much about their own family... I'm talking about people from faraway places, too. I get people from Turkey and Chile coming up to me and saying I wrote about their family.

Marriage is just an elaborate game that allows two selfish people to periodically feel that they're not.

In fact, I had the idea because of Peter Falk. I saw my dad watching a Peter Falk movie and something clicked in my head. I gotta go make a movie for Peter Falk and me.

I'm not smart enough to write about something that didn't actually happen to me. But I couldn't write a space movie if you put a gun to my head.

This is not the most right I've ever been.

We made this movie for $17, and nobody got anything. So it never dawned on me that we would get real people.

You know, the fact that every morning you get a script in your mailbox, that's going to stop. All these little pedestrian, mundane things. And the cash.