Quotes & Jokes by Richard Pryor / page 4

Friends take up time, and I didn't have time.

I couldn't stop. I put the pipe down. It jumped back in my hand.

To be diagnosed was the hardest thing because I didn't know what they were talking about... And the doctor said, "Don't worry, in three months you'll know." So I went about my business and then, one day, it jumped me. I couldn't get up... Your muscles trick you; they did me.

You work your butt off and somebody says you can't have your record played because it offends them. Tyrants are made of such stuff.

You can have a film and have 200 white people working on it, and nobody finds anything wrong with that. But if you insist on having a black crew, all of a sudden there`s something wrong.

Freebase? What's free about it?

Unfortunately, the show's success comes at the expense of its biggest asset -- the comedians themselves.

I also say that if there isn't a response to what's been happening to the people out there, there's going to be a great explosion one of these days, and this will not be one of the nicest places to live.

Imagine people calling you to find out if you're dead. I've led a real crazy life at times, and I've had many strange things happen to me, but that was one of the strangest.

I had to stop drinkin', cuz I got tired of waking in my car driving ninety.

Even when I was a little kid, I always said I would be in the movies one day, and damned if I didn't make it.

Booty is just a ghetto expression, and I'm just a booty star.

Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died. I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure?

What I never understand about a hangover is, where does the breath come from? You know what I mean? I mean, is someone shitting in your mouth?

I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, I wanna grow up and be a critic.