Quotes & Jokes by Zach Galifianakis / page 4

Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!"

I used to temp. I called a temp agency once. They were like, “Do you have any phone skills?”<br /> I was like, “I called you, didn’t I?”

I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say "I didn't like 9/11."