Quotes & Jokes by Zach Galifianakis / page 4

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name… and you’ve never been to that bar before.

I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say "I didn't like 9/11."

I used to temp. I called a temp agency once. They were like, “Do you have any phone skills?”<br /> I was like, “I called you, didn’t I?”