I learned early on, stay away from politics, stay away from religion and don't talk about sports. Those three right there will get you in trouble.
Quote by Gabriel Iglesias:
Quotes by other comedians
So what happens when nerds all get rich is: there’s a politics to it. Where there is money there is power. So then everyone else is like: “Hey nerds are great!”
Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
While you're improvising, you may come up with something which will break him up. As soon as that smile comes out, you know that, hey, we're having fun.
I think the best thing about being dumb is that it makes magic a lot better. Where the hell did that rat come from? I dunno, but I’m calling the cops because he just cut that lady in half.
Men can’t buy makeup. So they have to buy something else. It’s called a Porsche.