Quotes & Jokes by Dat Phan / page 2


I was doing gigs to stay alive. I worked two or three jobs at a time, there were times when I stayed up for 36 hours straight. I slept in shopping mall parking lots. A stand-up gig paid $35; then I could eat for another few days until the next gig. Literally, I was performing to live.

It's a constant battle between what your heart tells you, and what your brain tells you.

I was living under a desk in West Hollywood. It was a closet that I shared with another comic. I was shocked when they called me to come in to try out for the show. The chances of me getting on a TV show and winning it is like one-in-a-million. I had only been doing comedy for six years at that point, so I was basically considered an open mic-er or maybe a feature act once in awhile.

Us Asians look like we’re twenty until we’re fifty. Once we’re fifty, we look like Yoda.

My mom was so strict when I was a kid, she wouldn’t even let us watch The Brady Bunch. The Brady Bunch! She was like, "That’s why you don’t watch The Brady Bunch, that show suck. Six kids, that’s nothing. That’s right, I have ten kids. Why don’t you watch me? No commercial here. No ads. I run the whole operation, Dat Phan, watch me."

When you grow up poor, you have to either work really hard to try and get where you want to be, or you'll just stay put.

You can get to the next level if you're willing to give up everything and give everything you have in your heart to make it.

I knew comedy was the thing for me when I was the only Asian kid in high school... who failed math.

We want to be seen as more than just martial artists, or bad stereotype token roles in American TV and movies.

I love doing comedy, you guys. I knew comedy was for me when I was the only Asian in high school that failed math. But you know, when I failed, eight other students around me failed, too.