Quotes & Jokes by David Brenner / page 2


When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.

Entrepreneurs with disabilities are overwhelmingly successful.

Its probably lower than that, but I doubt very much it's zero, ... It's a large number of Americans dying each year.

You could place one product in a first-run telecast, a second product what that program is rerun, and a third product when the show goes into syndication, and another product when it goes on cable.

We can place a product, virtually any size, in almost any location. It really depends on what the program and the video in each individual episode provides in terms of a logical or contextual background.

We work very, very hard to find that fine line where location is meaningful enough to be interesting to an advertiser but not so intrusive that it interrupts the creative flow of the show.

You weren't doing a Cher thing. This wasn't your 12th farewell tour.

Dr. Ruth said if you want to be a better lover, what you should is when you get in bed with your woman, before you do anything else, you should recite an erotic poem to her. Now let me ask you something. Is there one man here who knows an erotic poem that doesn’t have the word “Nantucket” in it?

We're careful not to saturate people.

I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and ask, “Are you reading that?” I didn’t know what to say. So I said, “Yes,” stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.

Do you know they have a pill to stop you from gambling? What are the odds?

The best place in America to get directions, right here in New York City. No matter who you ask, you always get the same directions and you can always understand ‘em.<br /> “Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to 58th & Lexington?”<br /> “What do I look like? An information booth?”