Quotes & Jokes by Bill Cosby / page 7
Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.
Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in).
College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things.
My children think my mother is the most wonderful woman on the face of the Earth. And I keep telling my children, “That’s not the same woman I grew up with. You’re looking at an old person who’s trying to get into heaven now.”
My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow.
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.
You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven.
It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.
People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.
You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it's sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap!
Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you.
My mother was an authority on pigsties. This is the worst looking pigsty I've ever seen in my life.